Lessons for the day:

1) Essay #4 (Looking ahead):

Quick tip for your outline and research: Research BOTH SIDES of the argument!

Remember that counter-arguments are a big part of persuasive writing. It really shows that your reasoning is good because you are not one-sided; the reader or listener can tell that you evaluated both sides of the argument, but you came to the conclusion that one side (your side) is right, after careful decision. That is why you will be so convincing!

For example: If I said, mass transit in Hawaii will work, I have to know what the opposition says (the opposing view or alternate judgment, remember?). They often say that not enough people will ride it to pay for the cost, and that the rail will be noisy, and that the rail track will be ugly. So, it’s my job to counter those opposing views.

My counter-arguments could be (in red font):

1) Although some people say that not enough people will ride it to pay for the cost, it will pay off in the long run. Studies show that even in 20 years, traffic will worsen and mass transit ridership will not alter traffic much. However, what about 30, 40, 50, 100, or 200 years from now? Traffic has never gotten better, so Hawaii commuters will worsen traffic until riding the Honolulu Rail will be better than driving.

2) Some opponents of the rail say that Hawaii Mass Transit will be noisy; however, studies have shown that, like the tale of the country mouse and the town mouse, people get used to their surroundings. It is likely that residents will notice the rail sounds at first, but “get used to it” quickly. Much like how people who live near the highways and freeways get used to hearing sirens from ambulances and firetrucks at night, and they can sleep through it.

3) Some anti-rail people purport that the rail track will be ugly, but these people are often residents who feel that the view from their homes will be ruined and their home values will become lower. This is not true. Once the rail is built and ridership increases, having a home near a rail station is increase a home’s value, as potential buyers will see the rail as another benefit of the home’s location.

I hope that makes sense. So please think about the “pros and cons” (good things and bad things) about your topic is, so that you can research both sides of the argument and build powerful, convincing counter-arguments!

*If you need help thinking of opposing views or counter-arguments, please remember that Uncle Lancey is an email away! =)

What’s due next class:

1) I should be done revising all of the Essay #3 drafts that I received. By next class, please submit your Essay #3 final drafts. I will try to grade them as soon as I can.

If you did not hear from me, I did not receive your draft. Remember that you were supposed to email me, include the Google Doc link, and use “Essay #3 – Second Draft ready for comment” as your subject line.

What’s coming up: Once again, here are the steps of the Essay #4 when we get started (copied from last class).

1) Step 1: Do your research. Share with me your Juicy Quotes, so I can tell you if you are on the right track. But remember to get my topic approval first.

2) Step 2: Make an outline. Planning is always a good idea. The outline template is in Laulima, in Resources, in the Research folder. Share the outline with me, if you are unsure about your direction (but it is not mandatory). I can give you advice, even if you’re not done with it yet.

3) Step 3: Make a first draft (I will announce this soon, but you don’t have to start yet). Share this with me when I announce that it will be due, and I will comment on it.

4) Step 4: Make a final draft based on my revision suggestions.

Again, this is just the plan. I will be announcing deadlines for each step soon.

For now, all I ask is that you thoroughly research now, so that you are ready to get started on your first draft as soon as Essay #3 is done.

That’s all. Have a great day! =)

{End} 

) Heads up – Extra Credit opportunity: Soon, the college will be sending out Student Evaluations via UH email, to all of you. It is an anonymous survey which asks you about the class and about the teacher. I really want your input, so to encourage you all to participate in the survey I WILL OFFER EXTRA CREDIT!

Here’s the problem, though: It’s anonymous, so I can’t tell who did the survey and who didn’t. How can I tell who deserves the extra credit?

Here’s the solution. If 75% of you fill out the questionnaire, I will give ALL of you FIVE points each (yes, they will tell me the total amount of submissions).

Good deal? Hell yeah! It’s only 13 rubric questions (“Strongly agree, somewhat agree” – on a scale of 1 to 5 kind of stuff), plus some short answer ones that are optional. Once again, if 75% of you do it, we both will benefit, so let’s do this!

Lessons for the day:

1) One last tip for Essay #4: Using Pathos. If your reasoning and the facts you research are Logos, and the credentials of your source contribute Ethos, the one you might forget to use is Pathos. Remember that Pathos appeals to the senses, and sometimes you can use humor and be funny, or you can use drama be dramatic.

One way to add Pathos is to give a specific story about your topic/supporting point. Once I had a student who wrote about why PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) patients’ loved ones should go to counseling with the patient, to understand their suffering better, and thus be more supportive. Her definitions of PTSD causes and symptoms were fine. Her sources had good credentials (famous universities and health centers). So, she had good Logos and Ethos. But I could tell that, when I finished reading her essay, I believed her, but I wasn’t “moved.” There was no emotional power to her argument. It lacked Pathos. So, I suggested to her that she do a little more research and find “case studies” about the symptoms, and tell us stories about specific people who suffered from PTSD and what they went through. The stories were powerful. One was a soldier who saw his favorite Sargent get killed by a bomb during the Afghanistan battles. She gave examples of how loud sounds would remind him of the explosion that killed his friend. She gave another example of a woman who was raped in a parking structure, and it caused her to avoid places that remind her of that kind of building, and the anxiety she would feel when she gets close to places like that. It’s different when we hear about one specific person. It made the symptoms of PTSD feel so real, and I felt bad for the patients. Her essay became so much more powerful!

If you want to add more Pathos but you are not sure how, ask me for help! We can bounce ideas back and forth to each other, and hopefully we’ll come up with something great.

2) Well guys, Essay #4 is upon us. Congratulations on making it this far, and thank you for working so hard. All you need to do is research (remember that the more you read and research, the less you actually have to write yourself- it’s easier to use lots of quotes), outline/plan your argument and essay structure, and write the essay. I want to help you with every step, so don’t forget to share your progress with me.

Once again, we will ONLY have two drafts: One rough draft, which I will check, and then a final draft.

So, the first draft is due next class, and the final draft will be due 12/13.

If you start running into problems, don’t wait to ask me for help.

Trying to fix it yourself takes longer, and you must not fall behind on this final essay, since the due date is the end of our semester, I will NOT accept any late papers. I’ll have to submit semester grades right after, so I really can’t be nice about it. I have a deadline, too, not just you.